Steve Brydon
|
|
Steve Brydon |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
My name is Steven Brydon, and I would like to share with you my experiences and memories resulting from a traumatic brain Injury I received in a car accident on 4/1/2011.
I was on my way to work, driving in a light snow in New Hampshire when my car crossed the double line and went into on coming traffic- I stIll have no memory of the accident- and no knowledge of how it happened, but I somehow think that I was getting a call or text on my blackberry- which just indicates how long ago it happened! I was rendered unconscious by the accident- and the way they identified me was because the responding police officer knew me. The hospital In NH was small and transferred me to Maine Medical in Portland Maine- about 60 miles away…… I was in a coma - either drug induced or otherwise and no knowledge of my situation. I remained unconscious until Easter morning- April 24th. My oldest daughter has said….. “only you would pick Easter morning to wake from a coma!” I was still very confused and unaware of my surroundings and I had been moved from the intensive care unit at Maine Medical center- to New England rehab- just a mile away. I did not think I was In the right place due to my confusion……and was talking to the nurses….saying I’m not where I am supposed to be. they assured me I was- and I was asking to look out a window so I could see where I was-and I needed help to do this as I could not walk or even stand! they said I could not look out the window, and that proved to me that they knew I was not where I should have been- but wanted to make sure I did not find out! the actual reason they said no was because it was 2:30am around the same time - Osama Bin Laden was killed by American forces and it was the only thing on TV……… I actually thought I was injured In Afghanistan during the raid on his compound. news reports were saying no Americans were injured……….and I was thinking…..hello! I was! but according to the news- It must not be too bad! So what you hear and experience while you are recovering effects you. I was going back to rehab after I was released- but still would benefit from continued rehab….and the rehab therapist would say “you look good today” and I would respond…..handsome Is not the hard part! My recovery was very slow….and continues to this day….7 years later…….so improvement Is seen continuously, years after your injury. My oldest daughter was studying abroad In Europe when I had my accident and could not come back right away- my youngest daughter was a senior in high school but was at the rehab facility every day! despite being an hour away from our home and trying to finish up her high school classes! she was talking to me and calling me dad……I asked why are you calling me dad? I can not be your father- we are the same age! so that is the confusion and awareness you can have with a brain injury. Prior my accident I was a big fan of music performer Warren Zevon, and even saw him perform In Boston and met him after the show! My sister got a CD and played it in my room at the intensive care unit- so I think Warren brought me back! Let me tell you a little more about warren and my learnings from him……he was diagnosed with terminal cancer- and after his diagnosis he was the only guest for a full David Letterman show- as David was also a big Warren fan. In the interview, Dave asked Warren…since you were given that news…Is there anything you know now about life and death that the rest of us don’t know? and warren’s response was……not unless I just know you should enjoy every sandwich…..saying just enjoy everyday common things! After his death, there was a CD released by others In the music Industry…. “enjoy every sandwich……..celebrating the music of Warren Zevon.” with Warren’s songs performed by Jackson Browne, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Don Henley and others! I was given a less than 10% chance of surviving and medical opinion was that If I did survive I would be In a vegetative state- confined to a nursing home and wheelchair for the rest of my life…….but you can prove the experts wrong like I did! I moved from New Hampshire to Virginia and now live independently! The one odd I did not beat Is the one that says 70% of TBI survivors get divorced as compared to 50% of the general population. What I find now Is my short term memory suffers- but I can remember events from 30 or 40 years ago very clearly! An example of this- when I was in the rehab hospital and talking about crazy things- like I wanted to sue the Canadians because they never showed us how to brush our teeth- and thinking I was In Afghanistan……so a doctor came in to speak with me to see if I was lucid….and asked me to describe his tie, to see what I would say. It was a blue paisley tie- but somehow the word paisley escaped my vocabulary……so I described It as blue….with paramecium on It. to explain……I learned about paramecium In grammar school- along with amebomas and other single cell organisms from my grammar school science teacher, Mr. Turner. The doctor said…..”you are right- It does look like paramecium! When I first met and spoke to other brain Injury survivors……it was like I had been speaking a foreign language for 5 years- and finally found others that spoke and understood my language! When I was working…..I had a highly responsible position, and was even selected by my peers to be the manager from my market area to serve on the executive counsel who would meet with the company president every month and represent the dozen stores In my market area. I also had other responsibilities such as training others in management on diversity. I also received an America’s Promise award from Colin Powell. I also was on the board of directors for the Family Resource Center In Gorham NH ….and I was on the Distribution Committee for the United Way of NH. I felt good about myself and my career…… so, for many years I felt useful. I miss that. So I first tried to find a support group in my area that may help me with my Issues- but there were none in my area that supported high functioning people- so I started my own! we called it Hi Fi, whIch stood for head Injury functioning Independently. that helped me feel useful but It seemed to suffer from a decline In members and Interest after a few months. With plenty of time on my hands I researched things that Interested me. I watched a show on the internet about the life of Steven HawkIns,who was today’s Einstein and considered to be the most brilliant mind alive… and he said that everyone has something to contribute . I was inspired by his story and his accomplishments that he has made despite his condition. He was confined to a wheelchair and could only speak thru a computer he controls with mouth movements. So I continue to think there is something I can do. I hope that perhaps sharing my story with others that may be going through their own difficulties may help them to gain hope for the future. One thing I gained from the support group I started…… I was asking others how do you deal with the personality change? I said that I liked the old me but could not find him. Another member said…. the old you was killed In the car accident and Is never coming back, but you now have the ability to create the new you! So with that I decided to stop looking at the past……and concentrate on the future and work on making me better In the future. Nothing can be gained by looking at my past and the wrong decisions you may have made and wishing things were different. work on the future. So now after my TBI, my wife divorced me and I have little contact with my adult children because of my own actions prior to my TBI. I was hard on my kids when they were growing up- having little patience for them- and insisting they did things my way, because It was the right way! They are back In New Hampshire and I moved here to start my new life. I chose Virginia because my sister is here- I am thankful for my sister and my brother-In-law- they both Include me In their lives, and help me In my new life here! I will close with this advice…. If you don’t leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer- not for what yesterday has taken away…and enjoy every sandwich! Steven Brydon |